The nonverbal behavior that I project probably does not always reflect the image or message that I am intending to project. Actually, I can somewhat understand this initial reaction that people have when they first see me, and I would probably have a similar reaction if I was to bump into someone that displayed the same nonverbal clues. In addition to my dress style, which probably is considered pretty “gangsta” to a lot of people here in Southern California, I have a shaved head that is often covered by a baseball cap, as well as a goatee. I don’t smile or really make very much eye contact with strangers, and I am often told that that I have an angry or menacing look on my face. I inherited a slew footed walk that causes my feet to point outwards when I walk, or stand still for that matter. In addition to all of this, I am a pretty big guy, standing at about 6’3” and currently at about 240 pounds. These nonverbal clues and general “vibes” that I project are misleading in some ways, but are accurate in others. Some of my vibes reflect a “gangsta” to some, and this is true because I am “gangsta”, but I am not a threat to anyone whatsoever. After about five minutes into a conversation with me most people are usually surprised to find out that I am a really nice guy who is pretty damn articulate and well read (thank you very much). My oldest son (a 19 year old student here at AVC) teases me about this, and calls me “ghetto nerd” because of the conflict between my image and attitude to strangers and my actual personality and positive vibes that I project to those that I know.
The shaved head and goatee that I described above, in addition to an olive skin color (called “light skinned” in the African American community), often causes people to think that I am of Latino background. People will speak to me using the Spanish language, assuming that I will be able to understand. Law enforcement will approach me as an ese, and so will actually eses, and this has caused me to have some of the craziest situations that I can’t even really go into here in this blog. I am aware that this has actually worked to my benefit in some ways, and I can think of situations where I was able to “slide under the radar” as a Black person that was perceived as being of another race or background. I even had a job working for a white guy that was clearly racist against Blacks, but hired me for a position not suspecting that I was one. He made some extremely racist remarks, and I let him know that I did not appreciate that, and I was fired. Whatever the set of circumstances, many people are surprised to find that I am actually an African American. This makes me think: should a person’s phenotype, that may or may not give clues to their racial background, be considered to be a nonverbal clue in the same way that facial expressions or hand gestures are? Maybe this subject deserves its own blog entirely.
At the end of your blog you posed this question: This makes me think: should a person’s phenotype, that may or may not give clues to their racial background, be considered to be a nonverbal clue in the same way that facial expressions or hand gestures are? Maybe this subject deserves its own blog entirely.
ReplyDeleteThere are always going to be exceptions to generalizations much like you described yourself. However, people tend to hold certain characteristics of the people they were brought up around. Language, behavior, dress and even mannerisms are learned characteristics that we are not born with. We tend to grow up like people we chose to associate with the most as young people.
While I don’t think these things would necessarily need to be used to determine a person’s racial background they may be useful in profiling for other reasons such as education and security.
I don’t know that as humans we can keep ourselves from profiling people. If nothing else, it would back to our instinct to protect ourselves. We look to people’s verbal cues to decide whether or not they are someone we should even attempt to trust. And even though there are always exceptions, our conclusions in profiling are often right.
To: mhall_sr
ReplyDeleteThat subject does deserve its own blog entirely, maybe another time? that’s actually a very interesting point you made. Back to the point, I’ve never seen you and I’ve never heard you or your tone of voice when talking about something, but I’ve read what you’ve written and you seem like a very outgoing person. I imagine you being a man that walks around and smiles at anyone who passes by, someone who waves at a person that is in their English class, just because you noticed their face from a picture they posted up on their blog profile. You have much to say and your words pretty much intrigued me from the start and I can agree with the “nerd” comment that your son makes. As for the “gangsta” part, I’m not sure how to decide if I would judge you as one because I’ve never really seen you.
This may seem a bit odd, but I find myself to be a “ghetto” nerd, not in the sense because of the way I dress, but because of the way I was brought up. Don’t get me wrong, I can be formal and I can act intellectual with certain if its necessary, but I would more comfortable talking to people within my circle, which some are “gangstas”. I’m sorry about the experience you had with your racist boss, but I guess that shows you how close minded people still are. Thanks for sharing your experience and you should lighten up on the menacing look! =)
woah, this was a joy to read, thank you for taking the time to write it. I find your story very interesting and humorous, how one can be misjudged by looks and demeanor. I specifically enjoy the relationship you have with your son and how you two are comfortable with that realization.
ReplyDeleteTh question you presented is a very good one. I don't think that something like racial background should be determined by such things, because racial background is such a weighty topic to base nonverbal cues on. I do apologize for the unfortunate position you were placed in when you were working for your racist boss.
I can relate though, loosely, with the ghetto nerd. Growing up in Brooklyn, NY and being able to speak properly and hold an intelligent conversation and yet still dressing like the majority was were I stood. :)So i can totally relate, but you sound like a very cool guy. Maybe the world needs to just look past nonverbal cues and take that leap of faith to get to know someone.
Michael, I know (sort of) exactly what you mean in two ways. You see, I’ve got this friend who’s really more like my big brother. He stands at about six-foot-four and is roughly 250 lbs. He’s the guy with the shaved head and tattoos and just radiates intimidation. Whenever I walk anywhere with him, people tend to stare in shock at this five-foot-three woman walking with someone like…“him”. The best part is I get to watch their reactions to him and me, during these moments. Because, the truth of it all is that he’s seriously the sweetest person I’ve ever met in my entire life. He’s entirely squishy and such a softy and he looks out for me. It’s this stereotypical “look” that leads people to judge who he is without even meeting him or getting to know him. If he’s taught me anything, it’s to literally take that cliché to heart: “Never judge a book by its cover”.
ReplyDeleteAs for me, I’m the tiny girl who people think of automatically as meek and timid because of my height and my curious nature. However, this couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m the loud-mouth girl, who in all honesty, most people don’t like because she’s so loud. The question you asked your audience at the end of your blog; about race being a possible nonverbal cue. I’ve never actually thought about it, but it’s definitely an interesting thing to ponder upon. I don’t know if I would categorize it into nonverbal cues, but your story is definitely an interesting one for sure. Thanks so much for sharing! I loved hearing what you had to say this week.